Chronicles with Chutiya Chaudhary

This is my first stab at righting blogs. Forgive me for the bad English but  enjoy the story. Everything in this blog is true and based on real events. Hope you enjoy this

Staying in gurgaon was like an extension to hostel life but with more money to spare and cars at our disposal. This is the story about one such long weekend.

We were six friends staying together in our rented flat along with two of our college mates who resided  in gurgaon with their families and floating population of 5-6 people coming to our place weekly. We had a good friend circle and were extremely accommodating and fine with whomsoever visited us and stayed along at our place.

This was a different sort of weekend where I was alone with chutiya chaudhary and our other flatmates were visiting their parents for Holi. We decided to spend the weekend doing something new and asked both our local friends to come over. One of them was with his parents planning to watch "Queen" . Realizing our plight he invited us to watch the movie with him and his family and we also invited our other friend ,lets call him the Bopal .We watched the movie and headed back to our place where to our amazement we found one of flatmate drunk with a wrecked car and a story to tell.

Lets call him Mikesh bhaiya. Mikesh bhaiya just discovered his one true love that single night. It was all entertaining and we had a good laugh which stalled our departure for a couple of hours. We had a good jab at the incident  but it eventually turned out she was the one. That's another story to tell

We decided to leave for Bir which a place in Himachal because chutiya chaudhary had heard about it 2 hours earlier from one of his seniors. So me Bopal and Chutiya Chaudhary completed the chutiya pack and set out to Bir on unreliable google maps at 4AM in the morning.

Our first stop was at Murthal for the tasty parathas. I think this was the first blunder we committed, this was the pivotal point for the Bopal gas tragedy. We slept there in the car and woke up with the nose hair burning smell of first bomb by bopal. Leaving Bopal's garam hawaei at Murthal we set out to panipat to meet our friend Ambani .

After having a royal treatment at Ambani's factory  we set out on our way to Bir with  relentless reminders of Bopal gas tragedy. With the help of the not so accurate google maps we found ourselves in a random city with roads so bad and narrow that even Lalu prasad will feel belittled. Chutiya Chaudhary maintaining his track record wrecked another Alto car at a speed of 20 kmph. Chutiya Chaudhary has a talent of  getting involved in accident when he is driving only at 20 kmph. Our troubles of the Bopal gas tragedy had an addendum of an angry mob, literally there was a mob surrounding us and the man whose car we brushed was the least keen.We some how managed to get out of that mess with our wallets significantly lighter. After few wrong turns by the google maps and few more instance of the gas tragedy we decided to settle for the night at Palampur and set out for bir in the morning.

Next morning we woke again by the nose burning effect of the Bopal's gas tragedy. Man he had an upset stomach. We set out to bir and everything was uneventful till we reached the place where the registration for para gliding happens. After our wallets being significantly reduced by the heroic driving of chutiya chaudhary the man who owned the service decided that he will trust us with making the transaction once we reach gurgaon since there we no ATMs around. He literally offered us the tickets free without any collateral. Never understood why. Though we made the transaction a week after.

The para gliding stint was  a fun experience and after that we decided to head back since Bopal parents were of the view  tha Bopal was at our place for the weekend and were expecting us to be at their place for Holi. We had to reach Gurgaon the same day and it meant all day driving. We were stuck in a festival at one of the places where Bopal got his side view mirror broken. Till then it was fine but then people randomly started opening the gates of the car and stated boarding it . We were tired so we gave those people a good banter, if you know what I mean.There could have been another scene with the mob, but we averted it somehow.

We somehow passed from there and got to NH1 where we realized we dont have the fucking keys of our house and Mikesh Bhaiya was the last to leave . Its hard to believe but we covered 200 km in 2 hours.  Went to noida to fetch the keys from Mikesh Bhaiya and reached home at 3 am in the morning after 47 hours and 1300 km ,Paragliding and the Bopal gas tragedy. We had to visit Bopals parents the next day for holi. We made to their place, had a good lunch and played some holi. Aunty inquired what we did for weekend. We lied: "nothing" and she felt sorry and decided to take us to a movie that evening. And the movie was "Queen", since we had said nothing at all we had to play along and completed the weekend the way we stated it with the movie Queen which by the way is a good movie.

This was one such Chronicle with Chutiya Chuadhary. I have many more to follow

Another Chronicle with Chutiya Chaudhary

Here is another chronicle with Chutiya Chaudhary. This one poised during our final year at college.

As many of you might know and some might get to know that it is the most vella time of your life with no academic pressure and  a lot of time. That’s the time when you do the most unproductive random things in your life that you will remember for your lifetime. This is one such incident.

We all had developed a knack of playing poker all night. This was one such day but the poker didn’t go for long as everybody was bored, Chutiya Chaudhary had a plan that we should go to the institute swimming pool at 2 in the night and have a nice dip. We had an olympic size pool which was located just 200 m from the directors residence and mind you with guards patrolling all night  long.

So it was me chutiya Chaudhary ,my other friends tappa and Sher.Chutiya Chaudhary   claimed to have  done it some time back and was pretty confident that if we kept quite, it will be all good. So we trespassed and climbed into the swimming pool. There we stripped to our boxers entered the pool and had a relaxing time for 40-45 minutes. I was pretty impressed with chutiya chaudhary for devising scheme

Now chutiya chaudhary had to do some chutiyapa. He decided to dive in the pool from the diving board and was confident that he can manage minimal sound and it was worth the risk. So he did jump and made few splashes and sound. Seeing him my friend SHER got excited and decided that he would also like to dive.

Now imagine that the pool is a rectangle and the diving boards are on the shorter side of the rectangle and we are standing parallel to the longer side. SHER started to run from there towards the longer side of the swimming pool and I was like SHER.. SHERRRRRR……...SHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR and he jumped into the pool and it made the loudest splashing noise possible. I was dumbstruck, bewildered with what the hell just happened.

5-10 seconds later I heard a guard nearby who must have heard the splashing noise and starting whistling and shouting "kaun hai" "kaun hai". We were terrified ,soaking wet just in our boxers and had literally no place to go. We hid behind a wall and started thinking of what  excuse we might give to get out from this situation where we are found standing in the pool at 2 AM in the night. Please comment out any good excuse you can think .Might help someone in a similar situation :)

After shivering for 2 minutes behind a wall that covered the viewing angle we realized that the guards also had no access inside the pool since we also had climbed the wall. We decided to wait it out. We stood their for 10 minutes and the guard also lost interest. We put our clothes back on  and climbed the wall again. We decided to split Sher and Chutiya Chaudhary took one exit wall and me and tappa decided to take another.

Now tappa is the most feared guy in our group because of his straight forward questions, will write about that in future.So tappa is also the kung fu panda of our group. All round and fluffy. Since I and Tappa decided to take the other gate. I asked Tappa to climb down first so that i can assist him. Tappa some how climbed the wall and got stuck in the barbed fence of the gate.He was on my side of the wall and was dangerously close to falling onto me.

This is 100% true, he did fell with after defying all laws of physics on the other side, it still haunts me how the hell it happened. He fell on the other side with a bang and cry that would have woken our director leave the guards. I climbed onto the wall as fast as possible and chutiya chaudhary and SHER came rushing to see what happened. Tappa somehow got up and we ran our asses out, some guards might have seem our faces but we some how managed to get back. Panting we decided we will do the same tomorrow

This was another such incident with chutiya chaudhary. I have many more interesting stories with many new characters.

So stay tuned