Birthday chronicle with Chutiya Chaudhary

It was the eve of my 22nd birthday  and to our delight it was a weekend also. That  week earlier it was Bopals birthday and on his birthday we had another small chronicle. We celebrated Bopals birthday in gurgaon and the next morning Bopal and Chutiya chaudhary announced that we are going to roorkee to drop someone (that some one is classified). So they woke, picked me up, literally picked me up and deposited me in the back seat of the car. Before I could protest we were on our way to Roorkee, Chaudhary was pretty impressed and was giving me a smug look which said "dude I fucked your day and you can not do anything about it", All in all it was the truth. So I accepted my plight and  resolved to my self that I will go to gym from tomorrow so that I can even attempt to protest.

We reached Roorkee,  journey was all good, we dropped the classified someone to their hostels and set out to meet our MATKE friends. We entered our wing and started the GAY, GAY,GAY anthem at the top of our voice (That is what we call gay kumar). Gay kumar came out of his room in disbelief that how vella were we guys to come to roorkee. We went to the canteen with the rest of the Matka group, the jat artist, the lays king and the chutiya coder. We ate like the good old days at our old canteen and headed back to our place while watching Dark knight rises in the car on our way back(Damn that movie is awesome)

So coming back to my birthday. Chutiya Chaudhary decided that we will go to Ambani's(Another friend of mine) place in Delhi and celebrate my and his birthday together. Amabani's Birthday is just a day before mine, So Bhagwaan( the most entertaining member of our group), Tappa and Chutiya Chaudhary picked me up from my office and we reached ambani's place around 10 ishh. We called Bopal to come over. Our friend Lays king was also in delhi visiting his parents  so we also invited him over.

There were three cakes there that night, one that Ambani had ordered for me one that was the left over from Ambanis birthday and the other that chutiya chaudhary  had ordered. So I had a cake smothered at my face and one at the back of the face and some beer was poured over me. I was asked to cut the cake link a blind man . I some how cleaned  borrowed a t shirt from BAKAR(Ambani's then room mate) which I still need to return

It was somehow decided that we should go on a trip some where and since it was Navratre some body recommended Vaishno Devi, to this Bhagwaan replied " its not wise to go to Vaishni devi now since Mata is visiting our homes (Due to navratra's) and if we visit Mata at her home we might miss her in transit". Yeah you read it correct, we laughed at this for about 5 minutes and chutiyua chaudhary was adamant that we visit Jim Corbett park but the proposal was unanimously rejected. It was decided that we will go to Ambani's place  in panipat and from there decide our way forward. We  dropped lays king and the rest seven Bhagwaan, Amabani, Bopal, Bakar,Tappa, chutiya chaudhary and me set out to Ambanis place after our manadatory stop at Murthal for the makhan and aaloo k parathas. It was early morning when we woke up in Ambani's parking

We mistook the parking lot for a malls parking since there were that many cars there. After being awed by Ambanis estate we decided we need to sleep sometime before heading out. We had a nice fulfilling breakfast at Ambani's . We borrowed fortuner from the mall parking and set out.

This trip was so random and we were so unprepared that we had to stop at a store on our way to buy the utilities . We bought clothes for the journey and more importantly some Punjabi Song CDs. We set out to Kasuali for no apparent reason, I think some one might have blurted out the name. With the help of 'Yo Yo Honey singh and Sartaaj' and not so accurate google maps we reached Kasauli.

It had  the best weather and we were frozen since we only bought shorts. Yeah we were at a hill station in our shorts, We clicked some random photos which by the way were quite amazing and couldn’t decide what to do next. So we sat; cracked many jokes and had some ridiculously expensive and tasteless Maggi and agreed that we were bored here. Then bhagwaan made a recommendation that we should to go to Nangal. We all agreed and next thing you know we were at Nangal with bhagwaan giving all random shit about his creation the "Earth". You wont believe he was quoting the flow rate of rivers around the world the dam heights. Its all divine you know.

We reached nangal, had dinner there, we also came to know that there is a Devi ka Mandir just 20km from nangal and decided the we should go and pay a visit to the peer group ( a term we use to associate gods) of our friend bhagwaan :). We set out to explore the city of nangal and when we were atop a small dam we saw the weirdest of thing.

There was a car parked on the side railing of the dam and it seemed a groom was sitting in the car along with some of his friends or relatives and there was another group of Haate Gatte gym k poot like people who started beating their asses out. Every passerby was either getting beaten or was beating. That was the weirdest of sight one might ever see. We laughed for a while and  decided we better get back or chutiya chaudhary will get a way to get us beaten.

After all that we woke up next morning had a good time visiting Bhagwan's peer group (Devi Mata) . After being blessed we set out to see Bhakra Nangal Dam. I was awed by the volume of the water that dam was holding (really it was upto the horizon) and when I said that I think this dam is a holding a large amount of water bhagwan replied and I quote:"BC tune kya socha Magga bhar paani hoga". We laughed at this for at east 5-10 minutes; saw the dam and headed back to panipat.

The return Jouney to panipat was quick Ambani drove like a true punjabi driver without his shoes at 150 kmph with punjabi songs. Man that guy can drive like hell. He drove the whole way since he didn’t trust us lot and rightly so.

We reached at Ambanis and took the Safari from the parking lot and set out to gurgaon. The journey back was eventful since chutiya chaudhary was driving at a ridiculous speed and steering more recklessly. I was at the back seat of the Safari and I had Hanuman Chalisa on. The ride was really frightening and we really somehow came back.

It was a birthday that I think I will remember and stay tuned for more stories 

Trip to Bhangarh Fort

This is one of those trips that I will remember for a very long time.

It was a kind of reunion of our group, since many of my friends were visiting NCR. We had invited our Matke friends (gay kumar,jat artist ,lays king and chutiya coder) from Roorkee.  Ambani, the other Ambani (Another friend of mine who has excellent business acumen),bakar,Bopal and Tappa also came to gurgaon .The overall head count that day at our humble abode was 12 including me,chutiya chaudhary and Mikesh bhaiya. We had  5 cars and one bike at our place that day. It was a good day :)

It was decided that we are going to bhangarh fort in the middle of the night to see what's all  the fuss about. It was as usual an idea created and manifested by  chutiya chaudhary . Just to give you all some perspective, Bhagarh fort Is declared haunted by the Indian archaeological department and it is illegal to enter Bhangarh fort after 6 pm. For more information refer to the link : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhangarh_Fort

Since we had 5 cars at our home that particular day we had to choose which ones to take. Tappa had brought his eco sports ,ambani had brought his Vento so naturally these two cars were the obvious choices for the trip. The third car that we decided to take was Mikesh Bhaiya's Accent. The accent was old, not serviced and didn't have any Stepney. It was decided that we won't risk going to a strange place without a spare stepney. So we measured the diameter of the tyre using our hands and matched it to the spare stepney of the other two cars. We somehow settled for a  match and took that stepney (so much for being pseudo mechanical engineers). After gambling with our lives over a stepney  we headed for bhangarh.

Now the finalized sitting arrangement in the cars was such that Chutiya chaudhary, Bopal, Mikesh Bhiya and me were travelling in the accent. The worst possible combination of chutiyas in the car that was in the worst condition. The highway to the check post that leads to bhangarh was in very good condition and it took us just 4-5 hours to reach the spot . The cut that leads to bhangarh on the gurgaon Jaipur had a police check post . None of the cars we were travelling in had a valid pollution certificate. The police after fining (bribed them) us tried to startle and scare us that it is not advisable to go this way during the night and refused to let us pass that post. Rest of my friends were  slightly perplexed and were of the view that we should go straight to Jaipur and skip this mad idea of bhangarh fort. Since we also didn’t have any other alternative, we also budged and started heading in Jaipur's direction.

But we four in the accent were dejected that we missed a lifetime opportunity. One of us still had bhangarh fort marked as the destination in our google map app and bless the maps we found an alternative way. Quoting  Mr. Robert Frost it was like  "The Road not  taken" kind of a road literally. We called everyone and Tappa and Ambani were ready like always and reluctantly everyone else followed.

Now the fun begins, its middle of the night, we are reading an article about all the creepy history of bhangarh fort,  the road is just wide enough for one car,there is no way to turnaround and our car lamps were the only light on the road. Our car was the leading the cavalry and  we couldn't help but wonder that this can be perfect place for looters .We still persisted on and after some time out of nowhere in the middle of the road I saw an excited porcupine. I had never seen a porcupine and at the center of the road from nowhere came an excited one with all its fangs like pointy things excited. Mikesh bhaiya was driving and then there was a literal hard stop. All of us had increased pulse rate and  sweaty hands. 

We stopped to catch our breaths and with increased adrenalin and excitement moved ahead. It was not long before the mobile signal also left us, it was just the GPS now. After moving some more we suddenly came across a big city door like structure( it looked like a small abandoned India gate). The weird part was that there was this  city gate but with no city behind it (real spooky na). We had some more increase in pulse and some more sweating and some general expression of astonishment and fear and panic but rest was good.

We reached Bahngarh fort after some time and as expected the gate was closed, we tried to wake the guard, bribe him but they didn’t budge (strange na, we offered them 1000 bucks to let us in). Dejected we tried some other way to get in. The fort has 12 feets high boundary walls  but luckily or unluckily there was a small step between the two walls (6 feets each), not more than 3 inches wide to place the foot. We some how climbed by pushing and pulling each other, I have to admit we might have scratched our hands from a couple of places. Lays king was adamant that we were walking into something stupid and after repeated incitement on how phattu he was and why he was not climbing after getting so far. His response was simple and clear "haan manin hoon phuddu and hoon chutiya jo raat ko 2 baje random fort ki deewar chadh raha hoon jahaan jaana illegal hai". I think he had a point there but nevertheless it didn't stop us.

Tappa, the other ambani, gay kumar, lays king and the jat artist were not interested to climb up the wall and decided to leave for Jaipur . The rest of us some how climbed up the fort wall. To our amazement the boundary wall was at least 5 feet wide. We decided to take a tour around the wall and saw many posts like structure around the boundary wall that seemed to be intended as battle station post for archers and guards. They all had a small temple in them and it seemed that there we no shrines in those temples, there were traces of pooja done there ,some agarbatti's were lying there but no shrines in those temples. We later read that there were no shrines in the Bhangarh, when ever they tried to put one, it never stayed and miraculously always fell down or was stolen.

Walking on top of the boundary wall we flashed our phone light in the area surrounding the wall, it was all jungle and for one second I saw some reflection back, then again and then again. It was again the sweaty hands and increased heartbeat but I think they were some wild animals. Then we started to listen howling voices from no where and after some panic and some weird feeling in the stomach we realized that it was just the guards trying to scare us off(very silly of them). Once we realized that it was all OK ,we decided to  walk beyond the other side of the wall (Game of thrones style). We found some stairs and walked down, Me mikesh bhaiya, chutiya chaudhary,chutiya coder,ambani and bopal were again in the toli and I think we might have walked around 200 meters from the wall when I think I heard something moving AND after some time something again. The expression was GAAAAAANNDDDD Phat gayi and BHAGOO. It was some more sweating and more increased heart beat definite panic.

We decided to head back to jaipur immediately and this time Chutiya chaudhary and I were in a different car than Mikesh bhaiya and bopal to balance the chutiyapa. There was limited signal connectivity at bhangarh fort and the route to jaipur planned on my phone. After traveling for 10 minutes we lost the telephone signal and it was all up to the GPS.

Now I don’t know the exact algorithm how this google maps work(only google and bhagwaan knows) but it took us from a boulevard kind of a road to byroad kind of a road and then to something that no longer be called a road. We were stuck on the road and the road ahead was too narrow for the car. Ambani and Mikesh bhaiya had to drive the car in the back gear for about  2km to reach the point where we could go to a broader road to get on the highway.Damn Ambani is a good driver

Rest of the journey to jaipur was slow due to heavy fog. We reached Jaipur in the morning slept there for some time and visited some random fort at jaipur which was quite boring. We decided to head back to gurgaon at  2 PM with a clear sky. Around 6 PM in the evening we were 50 odd kilometers from gurgaon. It was sometime then we started encountering fog.

Within 15-20 minutes the fog was so dense that the visibility was not more than 10 meter. With zero visibility the traffic was stand still at the 6 lane NH-8 .We were at the forefront of the traffic  with an empty road ahead but no way to drive.The fog was so dense  that a guy was walking ahead on the road and the rest of the traffic was following him since nobody wanted to take the risk to lead. After covering the distance at a snails speed for 30 minutes a rajasthan roadways bus came out of no where. Damn that driver knew the roads well, we covered the next 10 km quickly but lost the bus after some time and came again back at snail's pace. It took us another 3 hours to cover the remaining 20-25 km which was quite frustrating since all of us were very tired. I remember that the visibility was so bad that we had to use google maps to find the cut off the highway.

We somehow reached home around midnight, it took us roughly 4 hours to travel to last 40 km. Every one was exhausted and all 12 of us somehow managed to sleep in our modest 3 BHK apartment.

It was a fun trip that I will remember for a long time thanks to chutiya chaudhary